ladies and gentlemen, there is something wrong with me. tonight i have finally come to terms with a very simple fact: i am a sociopath. though maybe not quite to the serial killer level, there is clearly something about me that is very different from what has become a societal norm.
you see, i don't like to go to bars. i hate them. i go anyway sometimes, you know, to hang out with my friends, but when i'm there, everything about it makes me angry. i despise a large majority of the music played at twentysomething bars, which just so happens to be played at a level of volume only fit for a live show. i hate buying drinks, even more for the futile act of getting a bartender's attention than the incredibly high cost of the beer. i loathe how crowded they are, full of girls with too much makeup and guys with too much axe body spray. i just really don't like the places; in my opinion, they're all the worst in people.
some people--well, lots of people--love this scene. i once had a theory why: no one, i thought, really actually likes it here. they're all faking it because they don't want anyone to not think they're cool. but really, they all hate it, it's just that no one's spoken up since the sixties, and so this thing that was created in the seventies has never been challenged.
i don't think it was just tonight that i came to my new conclusion, but it was definitely the first time i've officially admitted it to myself. my new conclusion is simply that i'm wrong: i really am the only one who hates going out to bars. as i watched a couple of my friends engaged in a conversation, not having any idea what they were talking about simply because i couldn't hear them, i realized that i must be on some other frequency; they could hear and understand each other just fine, even through all the oppressive noise and heat and bullshit of the bar around them.
what is my problem? why does this situation always make me feel so damn awkward? why can't i just relax and enjoy myself? i'll tell you why: because i'm a sociopath. i'm sure i'll write more on this later, but right now i'm sleepy and i've got a big day tomorrow of not being hung over like all the rest of you.
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4 comments:
i am with you my friend. My not drinking is a response from a few uncomfortable, awkward, bad experiences at bars, and the like. i dont drink because i dont want to be invited to bars or parties. crowds of idiots making themselves more stupid is not the way i want to spend my free time. i have nothing against drinking, it is the atmosphere that it is typically done in that i dislike.
Bars suck ass most of the time. A beer costs as much as a sixer at the liquor store across the street. I would go buy the beer and drink by myself than pay 3.50 for a shitty bud light. So then I am unhappy for the rest of the night
the people at bars do not help. you have the slutty girls and the pathetic guys that hit on them all the time
anyways, i'm with you buddy
I LIKE PETTING ZOOS
I don't like bars either, Adam!
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